


5 Times Newt Is Heartbroken (+1 Time Hermann Finally Says Enough)

by CommunionNimrod



Category: Pacific Rim (Movies)
Genre: Hermann excels at distraction, M/M, Newt struggles with love, but no actual sex, they're both dumb, vague suggestion of sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-31
Updated: 2018-08-31
Packaged: 2019-07-04 20:45:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,461
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15849042
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CommunionNimrod/pseuds/CommunionNimrod
Summary: Doctor Newton Geiszler - Present love interest:  Whoever will take himOver and over, Hermann would watch as Newt's relationships fail.  All he wanted to do is see that ridiculous, bright smile again.  He might be horrible at handling things like that, but for Newt, he's certainly going to try.





	5 Times Newt Is Heartbroken (+1 Time Hermann Finally Says Enough)

**Author's Note:**

> Huge thanks to GloriaVictoria for being my beta for this little fic! Inspired by a Twitter conversation with feriowind about how easily poor Newt probably gets his heart broken when he tries to have a relationship with someone. My first attempt at the 5+1 fic format!

i.

 

It took Hermann approximately five minutes to figure out what was off with Newton when he walked into the lab that morning.  He arrived late, as usual, but as Hermann glanced away from his blackboard to acknowledge his presence, the smile he got in return didn’t quite meet Newton’s eyes.  His energy - which could be particularly annoying so early in the morning - wasn’t there. Hermann would have be grateful if he didn’t automatically feel concerned.

 

The music that Newton switched on once he settled in was quieter than normal as well.  He went right to work without speaking, dropping down in his chair and leaning over his holo-screen with a heavy sigh.  Hermann found himself staring at Newton’s back. As the song switched from one melodramatic one to another, Hermann finally realized what happened.  Newton’s current relationship had come to an end.

 

It was not the first romantic or physical entanglement of his that Hermann had been witness to over their time working together.  Newton knew a majority of the people in the Shatterdome and didn’t shy away from conversation; sometimes those talks would lead to friendship, sometimes they’d lead to fighting, and sometimes they’d lead to more.  Hermann hardly cared to stick his nose in the man’s business, of course. What Newton decided to do with his free time was his own.

 

Hermann had always considered himself an observant individual, though.  Even if he made it a point to keep himself out of others’ business, he couldn’t always avoid witnessing what happened each time Newton got involved with someone.  They worked together every day, after all. He honestly knew more about Newton that he did about most people. He saw the way Newton adopted a certain kind of “tunnel vision” when he would enter a relationship, focusing on doing whatever he could to make them happy almost as much as he focused on his study of the kaiju.  Hermann couldn’t understand it, couldn’t understand the way Newton bent over backwards to make his partners happy. The man wore his heart on his sleeve, as the saying goes, but his efforts only resulted in moments like these: his energy and passion and emotions temporarily squashed as he sat in their lab, dealing with his latest heartbreak.

 

Hermann  _ hated _ it.

 

He had the realization as he stood there, looking over at his deflated colleague.  He also realized that, in spite of all their disagreements, they were friends after all.  He surprised himself with how much he hated seeing Newton like this, hated that Newton didn’t keep himself more guarded to save himself this pain.  

 

He never knew the details of what happened with the relationship, but Hermann made a few educated guesses.  The man could be overbearing and brash on a good day. Newton was a whirlwind of chaotic energy and emotion that few could brace themselves appropriately to be around for an extended length of time.  Hermann could hardly handle keeping a professional working relationship going, so to picture all of that carrying over into something like an actual intimate relationship? He’d wager that whatever individual Newton had involved himself with had gotten too overwhelmed by him, or disagreed on a topic enough to see the sharp, defensive edge of his personality burst through, and decided it was not something they could handle.

 

Sighing, Hermann set his chalk down and wiped his hands free of the dust.  Without a word, he made his way across the lab to their little station that contained a coffee pot, tea kettle, and assorted snacks Newton never bothered to store properly.  He remained over there until the cup of coffee was prepared, and then carefully made his way over to Newton, setting the mug down next to his elbow with a soft thump. Newton looked up, glancing at the coffee and then up at Hermann, blinking slowly.  His eyes were red-rimmed and puffy, Hermann noticed now that he was up close, and he barely repressed the urge to frown.

 

“Uh, thanks?” Newton said quietly, looking back at the coffee.  Hermann waited patiently until he picked up the mug and finally took a few drinks.

 

“Talk me through your newest data set,” he requested, leaning against Newton’s desk as comfortably as he can manage.  Newton blinked again, but after a moment of near-awkward silence, nods and pulls up the kaiju DNA he began analyzing after the most recent attack.  Within ten minutes Newton was back to his regular, passionate self. Within fifteen, they were having a heated argument about cloning theories.

  
  
  


ii.

 

“Well, she was only in it for sex,” Newton sighed dramatically, falling into a chair and slumping over the table, burying his face in his brightly-colored forearm.  Hermann blinked and glanced up from the papers he was reading, quite effectively minding his own business (which took an impressive amount of concentration in the mess hall, when everyone thought it the  _ perfect _ time to bother him).

 

“I’m sorry?” he asked slowly, glancing around to make sure no one else was close enough to overhear their conversation.  “That’s a bad thing?”

 

“Yeah,” Newton groaned, his voice muffled.  After a moment he lifted his head again quickly, eyes wide and glasses crooked.  “I mean, no! Not. Not usually. No, casual flings are cool. We’ve all gotta get a release somehow, right?”

 

“... Right.” Hermann agreed, setting his papers down.  He would not get the peaceful lunch hour he had hoped for.  He watched as Newton adjusted his glasses, noticing the frown and the slump of his shoulders.

 

“But, I really liked her, dude,” Newton mumbled, leaning forward to rest his elbow on the table and put his chin in his hand.  He was frowning and his shoulders were slumped. He looked defeated.  _ Ah.   _ He couldn’t quite figure out what to do about the fact that Newton was sitting here opening up to him; Hermann did not engage in these types of conversations.  In fact, he actively avoided them, but with Newton freshly heart-broken, Hermann didn’t have the strength to try and brush him off.

 

“Well,” he sighed, pushing his papers away slightly to give Newton his full attention.  “That is quite unfortunate. I am sorry, Newton.”

 

“Eh, it is what it is,” Newton shrugged, but his mouth twitched up in a slight, sad smile.  “She was cool, we just wanted different things. It happens. I fell into it and she… didn’t.”

 

Newton sighed again, ducking his head and rubbing his hair roughly, and something inside Hermann’s chest tightened.  Why did he continue to do this to himself? Even something that was supposed to be more simple than attempting a relationship and he was giving everything into it.  All it led to was pain. Couldn’t Newton see that? Why couldn’t he shield himself from that? Why was he so desperate for that deep connection with everyone he interacted closely with?

 

Hermann asked none of these questions, though. No, instead, he gathered his papers and stood, reaching for his cane.

 

“Come on,” he prompted, as Newton glanced up at him.  “Let’s go get whatever they’re attempting to serve us today and go back to the lab.  We can eat on the couch, and you can show me one of those movies you keep pestering me about.”

 

“Godzilla?  Really!?” Newton asked, eyes wide and smile bright as he leapt to his feet.

 

“Indeed,” Hermann nodded.

 

“Oh  **hell yes** !!  Hermann, my man, you are NOT gonna regret this!”

 

“Mmm, I certainly hope not,” Hermann muttered, smirking as he watched Newton bounce through the mess hall in front of him.

  
  
  


iii.

 

Hermann was busying himself with cleaning off his chalkboard, having logged and sorted the various equations that had been on it earlier in the day.  Weekends were more of an abstract idea in the Shatterdome, but for what little it was still worth, it was Friday evening, and he was looking forward to a (hopefully) quiet evening in his quarters reading.  Currently, he was trying to ignore the conversation going on behind him, but it was becoming more and more difficult as it went on.

 

“Come on Newt, you’ve been in here all week, why don’t you want to go out?” his lab partner’s current boyfriend was groaning.  Predictably, he heard Newton sigh. They’d had this conversation multiple times today, each time more heated than the first, and even Hermann was growing tired of hearing it.

 

“Because, like I’ve said, I  _ just _ got these samples in from the last attack,” Newton repeated, sounding a bit frustrated and weary.  

 

“Yeah, well, before you got the samples, you were still in here, and-”

 

“Yeah, dude, this is why I’m here at all!  Jesus, what’s going on with you?”

 

“What’s going on is that I don’t feel like anything is going on!  You’d rather be in here than spend any time with me! I’m tired of it, Newt.”

 

“Y-you’re what?  Come on, Jason... ” Newton sighed.  Hermann pressed his lips together and put his eraser down harder than he meant to.  If the two men behind him noticed, they didn’t draw attention to it.

 

“No, Newt, it seriously feels like you care about the kaiju more than you care about anything between us,” Jason snapped.  “I’m over it, okay? I’m just … gonna go.”

 

“Yeah, okay. See you tomorrow, maybe?” Newton mumbled.

 

“No, I mean,” Jason started, before sighing.  “No, Newt, I’m ending this. Sorry, I just wanted something more.  I get it, I get what you’re doing here, but I had hoped for a better connection, so.  I’ll, uh… See you around.”

 

Silence, followed by quick footsteps, sounded in the lab.  Hermann finally glanced over his shoulder once the quiet settled over them, seeing that only he and Newton remained in the lab.  His lab partner stood over a sample of slightly-damaged lung tissue, scalpel still in hand, but eyes fixed upon the door. He was frozen, and Hermann could see the distress in his features.  Frowning, he contemplated leaving the entire thing alone and going forward with his plans for the evening, but … He couldn’t.

 

Sighing, Hermann limped his way over to Newton’s table, crossing the yellow line that had been put down in a fit of rage during a particularly bad fight a few months ago.  He circled around Newton’s table so that they faced one another. 

 

“Uh, hey,” Newton said, eyebrows raising in surprise at seeing him stand there.  He sighed, shoulders sagging. “Sorry you had to hear that, man.”

 

“He is foolish,” Hermann commented.  Newton’s brow furrowed.

 

“Wait what?” he asked, finally setting the scalpel down.

 

“Jason,” he sighed, waving his free hand lazily in the direction of the door.  “He’s foolish.”

 

“Nah, maybe …  maybe I  _ have  _ been in here too much,” Newton shrugged, stepping to the side to start putting the sample away in its container.

 

“The fact that I am hearing you say that is absurd,” Hermann snapped, pinching the bridge of his nose.  “You are absolutely right: we’re here because of our respective studies, because of the kaiju and the Breach.  No one knows more about the kaiju than you, and if he wants to stand there and complain like that, then he clearly didn’t understand who he was attempting to have a relationship with.”

 

The look Newton gave him was alarming.  The last time he had looked at Hermann like that was when he’d agreed with one of his theories instead of scoffing and starting an argument like they tended to do.  Hermann could feel his cheeks getting hot. Why was it so foreign a concept that he’d side with Newton on this? 

 

“What?” he asked, a bit more harshly than he’d intended.  It only made Newton chuckle, though. 

 

“I just didn’t expect you to be so insistently in my corner, Herms,” Newton said.  Hermann decided to ignore the nickname for now, even if he had requested Newton to not use it more times than he could count now.  He sighed. 

 

“Newton,” he started, frowning.  “You know that I respect the work you do, and that you are not the only one who spends almost every waking hour in here.  It baffles me that anyone in the PPDC would expect any different from you. For him to behave that way, to get angry that you would not compromise your work is ridiculous.  He does not deserve you.”

 

“Thanks, man…” Newton muttered, still looking at him warily; surprise and confusion clouded his pained features.  It made Hermann’s chest hurt.

 

Newton pulled his gloves off and tossed them in the nearby trash can, and then carried the specimen container over to put it in storage.  Hermann watched him quietly, not missing the way Newton carried himself, still clearly quite upset about what had happened. This was unsurprising.  Yet another relationship he was in had ended, and each one seemed to hit him harder than the previous. Hermann knew he should mind his own business, to go about his evening, but already he knew that his previous plans had flown out the window.  He couldn’t, in good conscience, spend his evening reading when he knew Newton would wallow in the pain surrounding what had happened with Jason. Newton was his colleague and, after all these years, his friend (God help him); Hermann could not simply stand by and let him hurt alone. 

 

“Newton, why don’t we go get dinner?” he suggested when the other man returned from putting up the tissue.  “Neither of us have eaten all day, and it will help take your mind off what happened. Getting out of the Shatterdome for a few hours would do us both some good.”

 

“You’re being … weirdly nice to me,” Newton said slowly, eyes squinting as he examined Hermann’s face.  “You feeling okay?”

 

“Fine, if you don’t want to-“ he started, rolling his eyes in irritation.  

 

“No no no, I do!” Newton said hastily, heading over to him and clapping a hand on his shoulder.  “Just kidding. Yeah, dinner sounds great. Let’s do this thing.”

 

“Yes,” Hermann nodded, glancing at his hand and barely keeping back a smile at the touch.  “Let’s.”

  
  


iv.

 

“Okay, so this is the  _ last  _ time I try using a dating app,” Newton groaned, dropping his phone down on the table so hard it bounced.  He wandered over to where Hermann was sitting, typing his weekly report to send to the Marshal, and leaned his hip against the desk.  Hermann looked up at him over the rim of his glasses. 

 

“I told you those things were a waste of time,” he said, arching an eyebrow.  Newton was … very close. Hermann wished that he wasn’t. It didn’t nothing for the recent  _ feelings _ he’d recently grown for the other man - feelings he was trying desperately to shove down and not acknowledge. 

 

“Yeah well, they used to be awesome,” Newton sighed, crossing his arms and staring down at his feet.  

 

Damnit, Hermann did not want to talk about this.  He had enough trouble dealing with his feelings without being immediately reminded that they Newton would never reciprocate.  However, Hermann  **also** couldn’t stand seeing Newton looked like a kicked puppy, which inevitably happened every time he put himself in this situation.  Cautiously, he tried turning back to his monitor and began typing again. Newton’s gaze followed his, though, and there was only a few more seconds of silence. 

 

“You almost done?” Newton asked. 

 

“Not quite,” Hermann muttered, pausing to look over again.  “Why?”

 

“Well, I’d … I was gonna see if you wanted to go to our usual spot and have dinner,” he suggested, rubbing the back of his head. 

 

_ Their usual spot. _  Hermann both hated and loved that they had a usual spot.  The nearby Asian cuisine restaurant they had visited during Hermann’s attempt to get Newton’s mind off of a breakup became a more common getaway spot when one of them was feeling overwhelmed or stressed or upset for one reason or another.  Hermann wanted to refuse, needed to rein himself in, but he couldn’t. He couldn’t stand seeing Newton look this way. Wasn’t this why every single time Newton suffered heartbreak of some kind, he found himself suggesting an activity or conversation to get his mind off it?

 

“Of course,” he agreed.  “Let me finish this and then we can go.”

 

“Awesome,” Newton smiled, pushing off the desk and darting off.  Hermann shook his head as he turned back to his report.

 

Twenty minutes later, the two of them exited the Shatterdome and climbed into a cab.  Hermann instructed the driver on their destination, since his Cantonese was more understandable than Newton’s, and they spent the short drive in companionable silence.  It wasn’t until they had settled in and placed their drink order when Hermann finally caved.

 

“So, what happened with this one?” he asked.  His curiosity overrode his desire to not discuss Newton’s dating life.  Newton glanced up from the menu he was poring over -- he did this every time, despite always ordering the same thing; the man truly baffled Hermann sometimes -- and blinked.

 

“Hmm?” he asked, tilting his head.

 

“The, uh.  The dating app.”

 

“Oh!  God, dude, I’m so embarrassed,” Newton groaned, rubbing his face with both hands.  “The guy was in one of those kaiju cults…”

 

“You’re not serious, Newton,” Hermann said, deadpan.

 

“I wish I wasn’t,” Newton chuckled, but the sound was somewhat high-pitched and sad.  “I mean, I knew that going into it, but I thought hey, no big. Maybe he’d work out better than Jason, since he actually likes the kaiju.  We went on a few dates, and sure some of his views were a bit weird, but overall it seemed like it was going well?”

 

“Those people are crazy,” Hermann sighed, rubbing at his temple and shaking his head.

 

“Yeah yeah, well, he didn’t  _ seem _ crazy,” Newton said defensively.  “But, uh. Turns out … Turns out he was just using me to try and get into the ‘Dome or some shit.  He never actually wanted to  _ date _ me.”

 

The waiter brought their drinks over, and Hermann thanked him, before ordering for both of them.  Newton frowned slightly.

 

“What if I didn’t want that?” he grumbled.  Hermann arched an eyebrow.

 

“Newton, you always order the beef bimbimbap.”

 

“Well yeah, but…  Yeah, okay. Fine.”

 

“I am sorry this didn’t work out for you,” Hermann said sincerely, sipping on his water.  “At least you found out before he actually did worm his way into our lab or anything.”

 

“Yeah, I guess.  I’m just. I dunno, maybe I should just give up and focus on work from now on,” Newton sighed, running a hand through his hair.  “Seems like it works for you.”

 

Hermann wanted to frown, but he refrained, folding his hands in his lap and glancing down at them.  Newton wasn’t wrong, but his solitude wasn’t entirely out of choice, a somewhat painful fact that he didn’t want to think about.

 

“Yes, well,” he said slowly.  “You and I are rather different when it comes to that kind of thing.”

 

Newton laughed, and Hermann hid his grimace by taking another drink of water.  What a clueless man Newton was.

  
  


v.

 

Hermann did not like eavesdropping.  He was a very private person and it was only courteous to respect other people’s privacy in turn.  However, every now and again … it just happened. This was unfortunately one of those times. It all happened by accident, of course, as Hermann was just trying to make his way to the lab.  The lab, however, was not empty.

 

“Okay, so there’s this new girl in J-Tech that’s super cute,” he heard Tendo saying.  “Want me to introduce you?”

 

“No, thanks Tendo, but…” Newton was sighing.  Hermann stopped short just outside of the door, stepping to the side before he could think about what he was doing.  The tone of Newton’s voice made his chest feel tight.

 

“What aboooooout one of the pilot trainers?” Tendo continued.  “I’ve heard Louis is single. He’s a looker.”

 

“Seriously, Tendo, no,” Newton said a bit more firmly.  “Come on dude, I know you’re trying to help, but I’m just.  I’m tired of things ending up the same way, you know? I’m always too much for them, or they don’t want what I want, and at this point I’m accepting the fact that maybe I’m not meant to be involved with anyone here.”

 

Silence.  Hermann closed his eyes and exhaled shakily.

 

“Newt, my man, does this have anything to do with Hermann?”

 

Hermann’s eyes flew wide open again.   _ What? _  He heard Newton groan, and a thump that sounded like a hand hitting a table.

 

“I mean, sort of?” Newton said.  Hermann needed to leave, he shouldn’t listen to this.  Despite knowing this, he couldn’t get himself to move. He had frozen, clutching his cane so tightly that his knuckles were going white.

 

“Why don’t you just ask him, then?” Tendo asked. “I’ve seen the way you two are together.  I’d bet on that match.”

 

“Absolutely not, no way,” Newton said hurriedly. “You’ve seen us, so you KNOW how we are together.  God, dude, we fight all the time. Hermann totally hated me for ages after we finally met, so like... There’s no way.  I feel like we just now have a decent working relationship -  _ maybe _ even a friendship now - why in the world would I ruin that by trying to confess age-old feelings that won’t be returned?”

 

“Okay, if you say so.”  Tendo sounded skeptical.  Hermann wanted the floor to swallow him up.

 

“Thanks.  Let’s just … drop it.  I’ve got some work to do, okay?  See you later.”

 

“Yeah sure, see you man.”

 

Hermann heard footsteps and panicked.  He had nowhere to go, though, nor could he duck out of view quickly enough without the risk of hurting himself, so he pressed back against the wall and held his breath in a foolish attempt to not be seen.  It didn’t work. As Tendo left the lab, he glanced over and saw him, tilting his head and smirking. Hermann brought a finger up to his lips. The last thing he needed was for Tendo to say something and reveal that he’d heard the entire thing.  Tendo just nodded and grinned wider, winking and walking off.

 

Okay.  Hermann needed to take a moment to let this sink in.  So, Newton … had feelings for him? He sounded so tired, so pained, and Hermann hated it.  He hated it more than he’d hated seeing Newton hurt after every breakup. To think that this entire time, he’d had feelings for him.  Hermann didn’t  **want** to think too deeply about that.  On the other hand, he also didn’t think he could walk in there and pretend like he’d heard nothing, like he had no idea.

 

Sighing, he squared his shoulders and made his way into the lab.

 

“Hey, Herms,” Newton greeted, before quickly turning to a stack of paperwork that Hermann knew he’d already completed.

 

“Newton,” he greeted with a nod.  He paused, hesitating. He could go over there.  He could close the distance between them and confess everything, kiss the man silly, and see where the day took them.  He could end this charade here and now …

 

No.  No he couldn’t.  This wasn’t one of the romance novels that Karla loved to read.  This was real life, and the next kaiju attack was imminent, and they faced the end of the world.  Hermann couldn’t just do what he wanted. They had too much at stake, too much riding on their shoulders. 

 

Closing his eyes, Hermann caved and headed over to his chalkboards.  He was a coward. Even knowing what he knew, he could not confess his feelings for Newton.  There was too much work to do. He needed to focus.

  
  


+1

 

_ Memories flying by faster than either of them to cling to long enough to examine.  Feelings assaulting every inch of them. The kaiju. The Precursors. The plan. _

 

_ Dear god, why didn’t you ever tell me. _

 

_ How could I tell you? I thought you hated me. _

 

_ We’ve wasted so much time…  _

 

_ We need to go, we need to tell them - _

 

Their drift with the kaiju brain did more than save the world.  It saved them; and they in turn saved each other. It was cheesy, but it was true.  Hermann felt foolish for never taking the chance once he knew how Newton had felt about him.  But everything was easier to realize in hindsight, especially when their drift had revealed so much.

 

They wanted to confess everything to one another once the clock was stopped, but at the same time, neither of them felt like they  _ needed _ to say a word.  Hermann had barely breathed out his name when Newton was grabbing his face and kissing him like their lives depended on it.  He doesn’t remember whose room they went back to, everything disappeared in a blur of hands and lips and teeth as they tugged urgently at one another’s clothes and fell into bed together.

 

The following morning had been much the same, only slower, more loving, and Hermann was on the verge of crying over how tender Newton was with him.  Hearing Newton say his name breathlessly as he came had to be the most beautiful thing he’d ever heard in his life.

 

“You know,” Newton mumbled as they curled up together afterward, nuzzling into Hermann’s chest as he stroked Newton’s hair.  “Half the time this is when things start to go wrong.”

 

“Mmmm, is that so?” Hermann hummed, closing his eyes and feeling the warmth of Newton’s skin against his.

 

“Yep.  You’ve witnessed my awful luck over the years.”

 

At this, Hermann lifted his head and pushed himself up on his elbows, forcing Newton to sit up with him.

 

“Newton, look at me,” he requested sternly.  Newton blinked at him. His hair was messy from Hermann’s fingers tugging at it, his forehead and chest still shining with sweat, and Hermann was in love.  “This will not end like those other times.”

 

“No?” Newton asked.  He was smiling.

 

“No,” Hermann repeated, shaking his head.  “When we go to our usual spot the next time, it will not be because I am trying to distract you from a broken heart.  It is because I want to take you there on a date. I am in this for real, Newton, fully and completely. I know you felt it, and we already have years of proof that I know how to put up with your eccentricities.”

 

“Shit, you’re such a romantic, aren’t you?” Newton beamed.  “Never would’ve guessed.”

 

“Yes, well,” Hermann smirked, reaching out and curling his fingers around Newton’s neck.  He pulled him close, pressing their foreheads together and stroking his skin with his thumb.  “I hope I can continue to surprise you.”

 

“Yeah, me too,” Newton whispered, before closing the distance and capturing Hermann’s lips in a slow, loving kiss.

 


End file.
